Back at It!

     I'm really not much of a blogger, certainly not a consistent one! That being said, after a year-plus hiatus, I'm ready to share a little more on this little space of mine. It's a new year, and we are in a new home, in a new church, in a new city, and in a new state. We moved to North Carolina back in October. It was not an easy decision, we loved having family all around us and we loved being able to give back just a little in the way of service to our loved ones and to the church that helped raise my husband in the faith.
     We are now fully immersed in our new church home. Bill is the Pastor of Youth & Children's Ministry, which is a little new for him (he's never been in charge of children's ministries before). He seems to be adapting to the new role quite well and enjoys his job, as is typical for him. I'm keeping busy in a variety of activities - I run the children's check-in station between our three church services, I do a one-on-one Bible study with one of the youth, I am on the Communications Team for the church, and I help Bill out whenever I can with the youth group. Life has certainly changed a lot over the past year and through it all, God has been so good to us!
     Our family life has changed, too! Upon deciding to move, we also decided to begin homeschooling our 2nd grader. This has proved a huge challenge and also a huge blessing. We have already adjusted the way we 'school' in a few ways, as we learn what works best for our son and what works best for me, the teacher. We also have had to make some adjustments in order for me to gain some extra time to spend with our daughter who will be doing preschool next year.
     The biggest family change right now is the fact that we are expecting baby #3 in November! This pregnancy was quite difficult during the first trimester - there were many days that we did homeschooling from the comfort of my bed! Now, the pregnancy has improved and most of my nausea is relegated to just the morning hours, although, with the heat of summer growing, I have added fatigue and headaches to my pregnancy 'pains'. I find that about 1.5 hours in the garden is about all the energy I can muster for being outside during the day, naps are a regular occurrence, and my bedtime is now around 9 p.m. I try to get as much done in the morning hours as possible, because once 2 p.m. rolls around, I'm pretty much useless the rest of the day! Bill has really stepped up these past months! During the first trimester, he did most of the cooking and almost all of the cleaning; these days he still helps out when needed and where needed and is a constant encouragement (especially when I get frustrated with not being able to finish things that I start due to fatigue!). I am such a blessed woman that he would choose to marry me! As our family transitions into summertime, I'm sure there will be lots more to talk about, but for now, this is where we stand: A family blessed by God through the many changes and the chaos that every day living brings.

Having Faith in the Dark

     I want to spend a little time opening up my world to you, my readers. My 'about me' page does little to inform you of who I really am, and to be perfectly honest, this may be the first time in my adult life that I haven't allowed my life to be an open book to all those willing to glance at the pages. You see, I'm in a bit of a hypothetical valley at the moment.
     I'm married to a youth pastor, which limits how honest I can be about the church and ministry. My family has moved in with my grandfather-in-law because my husband is only employed part-time at the moment, which limits how honest I can be about our home life and family. Also, my grandfather-in-law attends the same church that my husband works at, which again perpetuates the sense that I must remain a guarded person.
     My husband and I spent two years in Southeast Asia. He taught Bible and Theology classes and I taught English part-time. I have believed, since the time I was 14, that the Lord was calling me to be a missionary, to live and raise a family overseas. After we completed our two year contract at a school overseas, we returned home to Ohio. It was very hard for me to leave, but I knew, without any doubt, that it was what the Lord wanted. So, I obeyed, we obeyed. It was much easier for my husband to return to the States, I'm not sure he really ever felt 'at home' overseas. Now, my husband has his dream job...he is working in the church where he grew up. It has been such a blessing in so many ways! I can see my husband working hard, growing the youth group, getting excited and re-energized in ways I haven't seen before.
     While I am so pleased to see my husband flourishing, I'm having a hard time trying to figure out where I fit. I saw this on facebook today and it seems to fit so perfectly with where I am at presently.

Photo Credit

      I am currently unsure of what God wants me to do. I am uncertain of what steps are next for me. For the last 14 or so years, I had been working toward getting overseas; Now I realize that 'overseas' may have only been for a season. Did God call me overseas? YES...but is He calling me overseas now? No. So here I am, presently in the dark, out of the loop, and unsure of what the next goal should be. I want it to be 100% God's plan. I have faith, faith given to me by Christ (Ephesians 2:8), and that faith will get me to the other side of this valley - back to the mountain top, where I can look out over all the valleys I've crossed and I will be able to see the answers to all my 'Why, God?' questions. To the peaks that will reveal what God's plan was and is. To the place where I can look towards Heaven, and with a smile, say 'Thanks for those dark days, now I see what you were doing'. It is in the dark that we must choose to walk by faith and not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). What darkness are you walking through today? How can I pray for you and lift you all up the way I hope you will for me?